Retirement Humor

Retirement humor may be hard to come by. Saying goodbye to a colleague or longtime friend may be anything but humorous (well, depending on your relationship with them, that is!)

Saying "so long" with a smile, though, can help take the sting out of the occasion.

The following funny retirement limerick may be used for numerous retirement occasions including:

  • Retirement Humor Roasts
  • Retirement Teacher Humor
  • Retirement Party Humor
  • Work Humor Retirement Events

It fits pretty much any retirement occasion, and it may be considered "tongue in cheek" humor - because it may be truer than we'd like to admit!

Funny Retirement Limericks

What happens when you retire?
You really don't have to inquire -
No job and no phone
There's no place but home,
And your checkbook's about to expire!

Have a retirement limerick or joke you'd like to share?
Please send it to me on this page!

Retiree Bathtub Humor

During a routine visit to my family doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not a retiree should be put into an old folks home?"

"Well," he replied, "we fill up a bathtub with water, and then we offer a teacup, a teaspoon and a bucket to the retiree and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I get it," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's a lot bigger than the teacup or the spoon."

"Nope." he said. "A normal person would pull the plug."
Would you like a bed near the window or the door?

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