The Saga of the Really Bad Hair Day
Ever had a bad hair day?
This funny letter was written by my son a few years back to a well known hair product company. Of course, every product or service has its limitations, but when they happen to you, well, it's a lot more personal!
This funny complaint letter might inspire some ideas for your next email to your "falling out of favor" company!
John Paul Mitchell Systems
P.O. Box 10597
Beverly Hills, CA 90213-3597
Dear Paul Mitchell or Designated Agent of Same;
Our family is delighted with the products of the Paul Mitchell system. We would not entertain the thought of venturing outside our home until Paul Mitchell has washed, conditioned, rinsed, gelled, sculpted and sprayed our hair. Your products have repeatedly rescued us from the terror of a BAD HAIR DAY!
However, lately we have encountered several problems. It began one morning after a shower when my wife tried to use her 16 oz. Sculpting Spray pump. Just when she needed Paul Mitchell the most, it didn't come through, the pump that is. I tried to hold the bottle at different angles using different hands to depress the pump sprayer. I even held it upside down. I gently stroked the bottle and spoke softly to it. (In case the spray was fearful to come out). Then I shook the bottle and spoke not so softly. (In case the spray had an obedience problem) but it was to no avail.
Then my wife Vicki discovered that her Super Clean Extra Firm Holding Spray 10 oz. aerosol can had a problem. When she sprays it, half the spray hits her hair and the other half dribbles straight down. Now mind you, the Super Clean spray looks super good on Vicki's hair, but not too good on her new dress. Now if my son stands beside my wife, right up against her, sometimes he can get the dripping spray on his hair, but it is not very well distributed among his follicles.
Finally our 32 oz. Awapuhi Shampoo went on the fritz. One day recently while minding our own business, we pumped the pump to access the precious substance inside and the pump broke. Now when I say broke I mean broke! A big hole now sits in the center of our shampoo cap. Now I don't know how this happened. Maybe the pump grew weary of pumping or perhaps some consumer agency requires the use of breakaway pumps to avoid damage to the bottle just as breakaway rims are used in basketball to save the backboard. Whatever the reason for the misfortune, it is inconvenient to say the least.
Now when I want to wash my hair I must grab the bulky 32 Oz. bottle with wet hands and squeeze shampoo out the hole in the lid. Paul Mitchell Awapuhi comes out in big globs. So I attempt to put some back in the bottle, but it runs down my leg and straightway down the drain never stopping to lather anything enroute.
This experience has answered one question for me! Where did you get the name Awapuhi? Well, now I know because that's what I say after the frustration of the afore mentioned incident, Awh-Pooey.
I feel like the pauper who lived in a ramshackle shack over the richest oil well in Texas. He knew the precious substance was close by, he just couldn't get it out. It's like the U.S. Postal Service; the content of my mail is welcome but the delivery system leaves something to be desired, if you know what I mean.
In closing, I hope this problem can be remedied. I am saddened because the Figsby family put their faith in the Paul Mitchell System but alas the system failed us!
Mr. Terrence Figsby
This is only the beginning of many funny letters from the family! Return to the main "funny letters" page via the link below to access more humorous complaint letters. Who knows, you might be inspired to create your own and share it with us!
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