Clean One Liner Jokes

You can probably remember someone with such quick wit that they can spit out clean one-liner jokes with hardly a thought. You are laughing hysterically, and they are just standing there with a wry grin on their face.

Well, if you're not a person with such an effortless sense of clean humor, you can learn from others and simply repeat! You'll soon know which audiences appreciate this form of dry wit.

Here are a few to get you rolling in the right witty direction:

If a person with multiple personality disorder threatens
to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Funny Mark Twain
Clean One Liner Jokes

Mark Twain, that prolific witty author who brought to us the delightful tale of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, was a quick witted man who seldom kept his opinion to himself!

Here are a few examples of his wit and wisdom:

  • Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

  • Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

  • A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

  • A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is just putting on its shoes.

  • It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

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